milenanik3

Archive for Lipanj 2011.|Monthly archive page

I miss Your laugh

In Uncategorized on Lipanj 21, 2011 at 8:17 am
What ever  I do,where ever I go: I do miss your laugh.
I do belive that Land of laugh sleep on your mouth.Sometimes,when I am very calm I do hear it in my ears..It makes me happy,makes me so alive.
My beloved,thank you for making me happy,loved and alive.

Što god da činim,gdje god da krenem:nedostaje mi Tvoj osmjeh.
Ja stvarno vjerujem da Zemlja smješka spava na Tvojim isnama.Koji puta,kada sam jako mirna čujem ga u mojim ušima.Čini me sretnom,tako živom.
Voljena moja,hvala Ti što me činiš sretnom,voljenom i živom.

Homofobi

In Uncategorized on Lipanj 18, 2011 at 11:39 am
Sinoć mi se dogodilo nešto veoma neugodno i za mene neshvatljivo.Nešto prije ponoći sam dobila obavijest da se “nađemo” u ponoć u molitvi da se ne održi Gay Pride u Zagrebu.Otišla sam odmah na stranicu gdje su me iznenadili,ražalostili,uvrijedili.odmah su  uklonili sa glavne stranice moj odgovor u kome sam ih pozivala na Ljubav,mir,toleranciju,na svačije pravo na izbor.Diskusiju se nastavila iza pogleda javnosti.Oni su pljuvali po pripadnicima zajednice LGBT nazivajući nas degenericima,razvratnima i luđacima.Tražili su da se ukine pravi istospolnih zajednica i svega što je Zakonom o istospolnim zajednicama dopušteno.
Ono što je najgore bilo,među njima se nalazila osoba za koju sam vjerovala da mi je prijateljica,koja je otvarala vrata svoga doma kada bih dolazila u metropolu,sa kojom sam razgovala satima i koja bi me trebala poznavati.Koja dobro zna što sam u životu sve prošla.
Inače,nikada u životu nisam prisustvovala ni u jednom Gay Pride-u,sinoć sam požalila što sam bolesna i ne mogu biti prisutna.
Ovo nisu ljudi koji vjeruju u istoga Boga kao ja.
Moj Bog je Otac kome smo svi djeca i koji nas bezuvjetno voli.
I zato Bože,molim Te zaštiti i budi danas uz one koje se kleveće,kojima se izruguje,koje se pljuje po ulicama našega glavnog grada.Jer Ti si Oče i naš Otac!Pomozi svima koji su ranjeni i odbačeni da ponosno podignu glave i da se zaljube samo u Tebe!
Hvala Ti Bože moj!

I am hurt

In Uncategorized on Lipanj 17, 2011 at 12:21 pm
It s so easy to hurt someone who is standing so close to You.
I never had understanding for that  kind of behaviour.
I allways thought that lesbian are more cereful,more kind,more understanding.At last that they are more woman then others.
I was wrong for putting lesbian on the pedestal.
Or maybe I am just too hurt.
It s not easy to coop with something like this.I need to hide myself.I don t want to argue with you about our rights to dissagree with something,anything.
You above all should know that.
You said that we need dialogue for progress to occur.Well,maybe you didn t mean it refair to everyone.Maybe it s for thoese you choose to have dialogue.
I really didn t need history lesson about human rughts in America.
Before I answer to anybody I look upon to whom  am I answering.Not everyboday can and will understand everything I want to share and say.But we re different.
I don t get from were did you saw I was condemning anybody,anything.Honestlly I am not that person at all.I love woman to much and I care too much to be able to condemn them.It was strange for thinking that you need to explain me what does homophobe do in there lifes.Did you really red what I wrote about part of my experianse?
Maybe you are right.maybe you wasn t answering only to me.
I will get over your answer in time.Time do recover all our wounds.
I wish You all the best in life!
with respect and love,m. 

my “NO” to Gay Pride

In Uncategorized on Lipanj 17, 2011 at 11:45 am
My name is Milena Nikolić.I have 52 years  and whole my life I have been lesbian.Proud for being lesbian.Proud for embracing being lesbian with whole my heart,body,mind and soul.I belive in love,God and human rights for each and everyone on Earth.
All my life I stood for my rights to be lesbian.I payed very high price for this moment.Being honest to myself and to all others I do not separate my everyday life from on line life.
I made lot of wrong choises and I am awere of it.I am far of being perfect.
More then half od my life I lived upon others rules like many abused woman did.
I don t want to be abuse any more.I am not going to give them that right any more.I have my own life,my own rules and I shall make my own dessisions.
I don t Gay Pride to be proud,to be happy,to help others,and to do my share for LGBT community.My door is allways open to anybody.
I do love you all that s my Pride,that s my everyday march,my Parade!
I went thought the hell in my life.
I was at psychiatry as young girl cause I decleare myself of being lesbian.
I was disownd by my familly cause I decleare myself as besbian.
I was abused 18 lond years by my ex husbant cause being lesbian.
I lost my motherrights for children by Court cause  I am lesbian.
I was priessoned cause I decleare myself as lesbian.
I lost most of my  friends while I was lesbian.
I was throwned out of my original Church cause I am lesbian.
I was throwned out of my carismatic group cause I am lesbian.
I was out all my life and payed for being out.
Being lesbian is not joinning Gay Pride,my all life is lesbian march.
You need to stand up and recognise youself as an lesbian.No one else can or is able to fight for you.
God bless you all!

my "NO" to Gay Pride

In Uncategorized on Lipanj 17, 2011 at 11:45 am
My name is Milena Nikolić.I have 52 years  and whole my life I have been lesbian.Proud for being lesbian.Proud for embracing being lesbian with whole my heart,body,mind and soul.I belive in love,God and human rights for each and everyone on Earth.
All my life I stood for my rights to be lesbian.I payed very high price for this moment.Being honest to myself and to all others I do not separate my everyday life from on line life.
I made lot of wrong choises and I am awere of it.I am far of being perfect.
More then half od my life I lived upon others rules like many abused woman did.
I don t want to be abuse any more.I am not going to give them that right any more.I have my own life,my own rules and I shall make my own dessisions.
I don t Gay Pride to be proud,to be happy,to help others,and to do my share for LGBT community.My door is allways open to anybody.
I do love you all that s my Pride,that s my everyday march,my Parade!
I went thought the hell in my life.
I was at psychiatry as young girl cause I decleare myself of being lesbian.
I was disownd by my familly cause I decleare myself as besbian.
I was abused 18 lond years by my ex husbant cause being lesbian.
I lost my motherrights for children by Court cause  I am lesbian.
I was priessoned cause I decleare myself as lesbian.
I lost most of my  friends while I was lesbian.
I was throwned out of my original Church cause I am lesbian.
I was throwned out of my carismatic group cause I am lesbian.
I was out all my life and payed for being out.
Being lesbian is not joinning Gay Pride,my all life is lesbian march.
You need to stand up and recognise youself as an lesbian.No one else can or is able to fight for you.
God bless you all!

You needed me by Miss.A.Murray

In Uncategorized on Lipanj 16, 2011 at 1:05 pm
http://youtu.be/QrOdxw5CHX8

I have no intension to brake wirh author wrights which are reserved.If I have to remove it,please let me know.
I wanted to share with all of You this beutiful song I heard today early in the morning on You Tube site. 

Djevojčica Leana

In Uncategorized on Lipanj 16, 2011 at 2:14 am
Sada san već pomalo umorna.Vrijeme za odlazak na spavanje je davno prošlo.
Težak mi je jučer bio dan.Još uvijek se oporavljam od njega.Pokušavam ne razmišljati da sama osoba lako čini pogreške.
Srela sam jučer jednu djevojčicu.Zove se Leana.Ima 9 godina,prekrasan osmjeh i leukemiju.Sjedele smo tako u čekaonici zajedno.Ispričala mi je da ima dvije velike želje,da pojede jedan veliki sladoled od vanilije i da njezina mama rodi zdravu bebu.Gledala je u mene i stalno pjevušila:”…zelena je livada daleko…”.Osluškivala sam je i razmišljala od kuda ona zna tu taku staru pjesmu iz mjuzikla “Jalta,Jalta”.
Onda su je pozvali da uđe u ordinaciju.Mahnula mi je rukom i rekla da ćemo se vidjeti.
Sat vremena kasnije iznijeli su je na kolicima.
Kada zaklopim oči vidim i dalje njezin osmjeh.
Zašto Bože?

Laku Ti noć želim voljena moja

In Uncategorized on Lipanj 15, 2011 at 6:55 am
Ma gdje god bila,ma s kime god bila,želim Ti laku i mirnu noć.
Poželjela bih Ti sebe u ovoj Tvojoj noći ali ja ne znam da li da to želim ili ne želim.Nikada Ti ne bih mogla poželjeti nešto loše a nisam sigurna da sam ja “dobro”za imati me u životu.
O da,jesam dobra sa riječima ali život traži puno više od lijepih riječi,želja i snova.
Ti si poklonila mi svoje povjerenje,djevojčice,ali ja Te molim budi u životu oprezna.Posebno budi oprezna sa mnom.Ta ipak,ja sebe jako dobro znam.
Kako su drugi u životu tražili ono loše u meni,naučila sam se skrivati od njih i davala sam im to loše.
Ti u meni uvijek vidiš ono najljepše,nemoćna sam pred Tobom i darovala bih Ti sve.
Drugi su zahtijevali moje tijelo,oduzimali su me i grabili za sebe,uvijek više i jače.
Ti šaptom me moliš da Ti poklonim srce,daruješ mi osmjeh i dijeliš od sebe sve.
Kada ne bi postojao Bog na svijetu,stvarno bih se bojala za Tebe.
Zato Te molim djevojčice,budi u životu oprezna.Posebno budi oprezna sa mnom.

Pozdrav Damama

In Uncategorized on Lipanj 15, 2011 at 1:32 am
Drage moje Dame iz Slovenije i Crne Gore,
Želim Vas samo pozdraviti i zahvaliti što se pridružile ostalim čitateljicama ovoga bloga.
Lijepo je što postojite i što ste tu.
Drage moje Dame iz Makedonije,BiH,Srbije i Lijepe moje Hrvatske ,
postajete vjerne čitateljice,činite mi veliko zadovoljstvo.
A Vi drage moje Dame iz USA-a i Canade
Uvijek ste ovdje posebno dobrodošle.
Svima Vama želim Mir,Dobro i puno ljubavi!

Bože moj oprosti nam

In Uncategorized on Lipanj 14, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Bože moj,
Oprosti mi sve moje slabosti.
Oprosti što sam se tako kasno vratila Tebi.
Oprosti što nisam vjerovala u Tvoju Ljubav i Tvoj plan za mene.
Oprosti svima koji su zloupotrebljavali moje srce i moje tijelo.
Oprosti svima koji su okretali glavu od mene u vremenima kada mi je trebala njihova pomoć.
Oprosti svima koji su zatvarali i zatvaraju svoja srca pred drugima.
Oprosti mojoj biološkoj majci što me nije zjala voljeti i biološkom ocu koji je bio ravnodušan.
Oprosti mojoj mami koja nije željela vjerovati i tati kojemu je bilo važnije obnašanje njegovoga posla.
Oprosti muškarcu koji mi je oduzeo nevinost čitavoga moga bića i koji je prekinuio moje djetinjstvo.
Oprosti mojoj profesorici koja je izgubila hrabrost i svu krivicu prebacila na mene.
Oprosti onoj koja me je zatajila i  napustila me.
Oprosti mojem bivšem mužu jer nije znao što čini.
Bože moj,oprosti nam svima po beskrajnom milosrđu i po svojoj Ljubavi!
Oprosti im Bože moj i ja im danas svima opraštam!
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